Branislav Ivanovic's son scores as many as Torres

Yea that's right, full Chelsea kit, check. name & number at the back, check. No contact dive, check. Scored one goal for Chelsea this season, check! You might say he is exactly the same person as Fernando, however I reckon they could sign him for less than 50 million. That said, sweet strike and a nice celebration.

Wayne Rooney shaves chest hair leaves 19

So he proves that he can count indeed. After united won the league last night, Wayne decided that it would be fun to do this. There isn't much to say really, except that the Beer mates might get awkward next time they meet up ;).

What if all the shots that hit the post (and stayed out) went in

That is exactly the question that this table answers, as you can see the gunners would have finally won the table again. But as some nice blokes in the comment section of "who ate all the pies" pointed out, it is a pointless table, because then you might as well have a what if all the shots that the goalie saved, went in table. Because hitting the post is essentially the same as having your shot saved, either you are unlucky on your shot just wasn't good enough. Nonetheless though I thought it was interesting enough to have a look, enjoy.

Bayern Munich reach their "goal" of securing third

Yes they have the possibility to play champions league next year, which is great, even if it was not the season you would wish for in Munich. A beautiful 8-1 victory away from home showed that the side can indeed play football, even if it came a little too late.

Mario Gomez completed a hat-trick yesterday and with that now holds Bayern's club record for most goals scored in one season, previously held by no other than Rummenigge. It was Bayerns biggest away win in the Bundesliga and St.Pauli's biggest loss in the Bundesliga. While as a Bayern fan I was cheering and am definitely happy that at least the champions league qualification is secured it does sting a little bit that it had to happen against st.Pauli, an overall lovable team with heart, which will be playing 2nd league again next year.

It does make you wonder though, if we would have played football like this all year, we would have won the league 5 rounds ago, and begs the question why we didn't. My favorite moment was after the game when the German media interviewed Jonker to ask if he was "eying the second place a little" to which he replied "why a little?" showing true spirit, because it really is still possible, and I know that I wont be the only Bayern fan that will also be cheering for Freiburg next week. so Stuttgart to come, 3 points that could potentially bring us the direct qualification to the champions league next year. Mia san Mia.

Schalke vs ManU

Setting an alarm for 4:30 in the morning is never a pleasant thing, but when you do it to support your natural rival, it becomes a whole new thing. I cursed and twirled but I got out of bed, lined up 3 coffee mugs and plugged in the sandwich maker, for what you ask? To support Schalke, even though I am a true Bayern fan, I wanted to see a German team in the Champions League final this year. Sadly it will probably stay a dream.

There are 10 Schalke players that should hang their head in shame after that performance, and one that should be proud of himself and happy that he made the decision to leave Gelsenkirchen at the end of the season. If it hadn't been for Manuel Neuer Schalke would have drowned 4/5 - 0 today. Yes it was that bad. The Arena auf Schalke is arguably the best (again this hurts me to say) stadium when it comes to German stadiums, perhaps only contested by the Westfahlen stadion (yes I will continue to call it that) and the Allianz Arena (Because I wouldn't be a true Bayern fan if I didn't include it), and there were plenty of Schalke fans there to support their team, but they played the slowest and most uncreative football I have seen in while. There was no tempo up front, no heart to push forward, no teeth to show Manchester what they are capable of.

This is the same team that beat Inter 5-2 after conceding after just 25 seconds, what happened to that. A lucky Giggs goal and they just switched off, no wonder Neuer was furious at his defense. Farfan was the biggest disappointment in my eyes, the man is brilliant but it seems he has on and off days at random and for no reason, he let the ball run through his foot passed the out line twice today, in a Semi-final! Most of the players were rested in last weekends defeat against Kaiserslautern (0-1) so it can't even be said that they were tired. Needless to say it is near impossible to win by 3 goals in Manchester's "theater of dreams" and even though I myself don't really belief it will happen, I will wake up and show you the continued support, except this time it will be more because of my love for the beautiful game (if you can call it that when Rooney is present) rather than to shout for Schalke.

Let me point out one thing, there is no shame in losing to Manchester United by 2 goals, they are a great team, and at times also a lucky team. There is however shame if you lose by 2 goals and look like you didn't even want to be on that pitch, if you've made the long and hard way to the semi-final, I don't understand why you don't want to fight to make the pot yours.

Manufactured Attendance

I've been thoroughly unimpressed by the quality of (for the sake of thedrunkenstriker's primary audience) football displayed thus far in the current MLS season. While living Saigon, I'd heard that the MLS was improving: additional clubs had entered the league, crowd sizes were increasing, talent was sprouting up and being flown in from Europe, etc. The fact that the United States had more supporters in South Africa than any other nation (aside from the hosts, naturally) seemed like confirmation that these rumors of growth had some legitimacy.

But, ya know, a US supporter who has traveled to South Africa is a wee different than, say, a Mexican who has traveled halfway cross the globe to support his/her country. While in South Africa last summer, I was a bit appalled in talking to some of my fellow countrymen who had sacrificed their money and time to serve in Uncle Sam's Army; that many individuals' knowledge of our national squad was limited to Landon Donovan, Tim Howard, and Clint Dempsey. Others still, after surveying the pitch during our opener against England in Rustenburg turned to the nearest guy in the bar or stadium wearing a white sashed jersey and asked, "Where's Freddy Adu?". No joke, on the walk from my hostel to the Ellis Park Stadium to watch our match against Slovenia, I was explaining the concept of offsides to a North Carolinian.

Oh yeah, US National Team supporters are one-of-a-kind. No other country can claim to have such ill-informed followers. My theory: the US excels in nationalism. We f'n bleed the Red, White, and Blue and whether our sons and/or daughters are heading to war or to the World Cup, we're gonna show(off) our support.

And don't get me started on our chants... Essentially, we have one. It's three letters long. The first letter is 'U' and the last 'A'. When delivered, you must try and achieve as deep of tone as possible- achieved en masse, you'll produce a chant that effectively makes others both laugh at you and hate you at once. Seriously, there's plenty I like about my country and our football team, but I hate this chant. Hate it.

Ok, this is getting lengthy, but I'm gonna plow forward in my intended trajectory so that I can tie the lameness of our National team's support with the lameness of our domestic support. First, watch this video taken at a Vancouver Whitecap (a first-year club in the MLS) match:

Ok, so, I love Steve Nash. I can't say that about many Canadians (frankly, I find most I meet to be extreme braggarts with a real superiority complex when it comes to their relationship with their southern neighbors). Nash and I are both alumni of Santa Clara University and we're both above average basketball and football players (he's far above-average on the hardwood, but I reckon I could defend him well on the pitch). Nash has long hair; I once had long hair. Steve Nash's father used to play for the Canadian National team; my father used to referee high school girls soccer. The similarities go on and on...

I think it's rad that Steve Nash would be in the stands at one of his home club's matches this year. I mean this guy is a two-time NBA MVP and it looks like he's chilling in Row L or something. I wouldn't put it past the guy to suggest that he's probably got a flask of whiskey in his pocket, too!

But notice the crowd's reaction. They're as pumped as I would be, but maybe a little too pumped. You get the feeling that when the match is over and they go home to their families eh they'll have more to say about who was in the crowd eh than about who won the contest eh. And these are Canadians. You'd think with nothing else to do up in their country apart from watching hockey, going ice-fishing, and making maple syrup, they'd have the time to really care about their football clubs.

In the US, I'm afraid the state of futbol fandom is even more bleak. In matches I've attended, the lure of attending seems to be for men: how drunk you can in the course of ninety minutes (+ extra time), for women: somebody has to drive the SUV home, for kids: the fact that all your other youth club teammates will be there.

Of course, there are encouraging exceptions to the sorry supporters criticized above, but for the most part, by far the truest contingent of supporters in the MLS (in Chicago, for sure) are the foreigners (mostly Latinos) who come to the matches because they love the sport and are compelled to watch the sport and support the local club that represents that sport. Their blood isn't sullied with American football, baseball, basketball, and NASCAR and is in constant need of injections of touchdowns, homeruns, alley-oops, crashes, bloody faces, stops and gos and highlights, highlights, highlights.. No-their blood flows in the milder pace of the beautiful game.

Quick update on the getafe rant

For those of you that haven't read it read it here. For those of you that have, thank you, here is what the new logo is supposed to look like, this almost makes me want to go on my next rant.